Phone Interviewers, Not Telemarketers!
by BridgeFlyingBlues
Summary: There is a slight underscoring of Crack here I think...Though, not as overt. Basically a day in the life of Sasuke, the Telemarketer! Just don't tell him that. sasunaru.


1Disclaimer - like duh.

_Phone Interviewers, Not Telemarketers!_

"Hello. My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I am calling on behalf of the..."

Click.

Sasuke blinked and promptly started to busy himself with the recording of phone call number sixty-five's outcome. The ancient IBM flicked screens as he brushed his fingers across the keyboard, coding the respondent as a HUDI, and leaving a brief comment in the drop down box.

It was a ridiculous job, but it paid the bills between missions. The first couple Hung Up During Introductions had been briefly irritating, but it hardly phased him now, thank God. He figured most people who worked demeaning jobs - such as this one - would find themselves more patient or at least more humble, but somehow that never rubbed off on Sasuke. He still hung up the phone on Telemarketers with no consideration whatsoever.

They were, after all, bothering him in _his _home.

Pulling the phone from the cradle, and deftly punching in the next number, he adjusted his mouth piece and tapped his fingers in a highly bored fashion. The buzzing echoed in his ear as he waited impatiently for either an answer or five rings to be up.

...3... He picked up his pen and began marking a line through the words found in his cross word puzzle. He had seventy-five books at home all completely filled in, and he'd only started work a month ago.

...4... Click.

"YO!"

Sasuke's pen flew a mile in the air, and he'd almost let a particularly rude curse spew from his lips. After a moment he situated himself and flicked the mute button connected to his head set.

"Hello." He tried hard not to sound like he was grinding his teeth together, and fought bitterly for the coolness he was renowned for. "My name is Sasuke Uchiha, I am calling on behalf of Konoha's Youth League Center, and Suna's LEED 6023 drug prevention campaign. We are conducting a small survey concerning various issues within your community."

"Snicker. Check this out Kiba, sounds like one of those automated thingies. You know, where you could say ANYTHING and they can't say anything back? Hey _Sasukeeeee_, you sound like a freaky robot toy! Shoot electro sparks from your ass?"

Sasuke rubbed his temples and let out a slow stream of air in meditation. He'd dealt with assholes before, and he could do it again. And again if need be.

It just pissed him off he couldn't say where exactly this guy could shove his 'freaky robots.'

"Am I speaking with someone who is 18 years old or older that lives in this household?"

"Yeah, yeah, I live here. By myself actually. I don't usually get many phone calls. So why the hell are you calling me? Stalker weirdo or something? I like your voice though, even if it does sound like a robot. Bet you got tons of girls throwing their undies at ya, huh?"

Sasuke blinked. Okay, this was something new. Yes, he usually had girls trying to give him their number upon completing the survey, that was undeniably true, but he found it funny and quite moronic that they did. He already _had _their fucking number to begin with!

Jeeze, was this _guy _flirting with him? ...He talked a mile a minute too.

"You said you live their alone. That was the next question, so we'll continue."

"Sure, sure, Sasuke. _Let's _continue."

"We need to see if you live within the specified boundaries required for participation in our study."

"K. Snicker. _Boundaries_."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Sounded like another winner from - he glanced at the sample area - Konoha City, Fire Country. Great. Lovely.

"Do you live between Route 12 and the Suna Expressway?"

"Errrr...uhhh. Psst! Hey Kiba, do I live between Route 12 and the Suna Expressway?"

"_How the fuck should I know? It's yur house, retard!"_

Sasuke could hear the pout issuing from his respondent, even if he couldn't see it.

"Ummm...Yeah, yeah...I think I do live between them!"

Grunting, he punched it into the computer.

"Well, it seems you've been selected for the survey. First I'll have to ask how old you are, so we will know what questions to ask."

There was a pause, where Sasuke felt a cold sweat break out on the back of his neck.

"Tch. If you really wanted to know how old I was you coulda asked me straight, _Sasukeee_..."

The brunette almost swallowed his tongue at the suddenly husky timbre the other man's voice had taken on. Fuck, who was he kidding? He almost wet himself!

Stupid job.

Clearing his throat, Sasuke continued in what he hoped was a professional manner.

"Your age please, sir?"

"SIR? Where the hell did that come from? Whatever. I'm twenty-three."

Sasuke then proceeded to ask about seven questions, as it was a short interview, and couldn't have been happier about getting it over with. Or so he told himself.

"Well, those are all the questions I have for you today. Thank you very much."

"Aw. Hold up a minute! Can I get your number? Your voice has a relaxing effect on me, and Kiba says you should, just to keep me from doing stupid things! He says I have a tendency to do stupid things, actually."

Sasuke blinked.

"I'm not your doctor."

"Heeeyyy! You can talk! I knew it."

"Yes. Good day sir."

"OH PLEEEASSEE! GIMME YOUR NUMBER!"

Sasuke chuckled for a moment, before murmuring into the mouth piece.

"Now, why would I do that? Especially...when I've got yours?"

There was silence on the other end.

"Good day sir."

Click.

He heard a slight echo of his breath when he typed in the outcome of sixty-six, and smirked devilishly to himself. He was probably fired now, as it seemed he'd been monitored. Oh, well. Jotting down the phone number in his cross word book, he logged out of his station and quickly packed up.

Sasuke walked out of that stupid place with nary a regret.

Sliding into his car, he dialed the number and grinned when he heard the familiar pick up.

"YO!"

"I know I asked your weekly intake of vegetables earlier, but now I'm curious about something else..."

There was silence for a moment, but he could practically hear the smile.

"...What?"

"Do you like Italian? Not so much veggies as carbs and meat. I'm actually quite big on the whole _carnivore _thing."

_End_.

Note - just a quickie to entertain me. Has nothing to do with other story currently being worked on! Soon, I will extrete another chapter! Everybody say yay!

WOOT!


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